Just a Shard Detector
by Trillian
Summary: When she overhears Inuyasha telling Kikyo that she is just a shard detector, Kagome decides it's time to review the responsibilities of her job description. Rated for language.
1. Unwilling bystander

Disclaimer: He never writes, he never calls. . .  
  
Just a Shard detector  
  
Spring had come to Feudal Japan when Kagome poked her head out of the Bone Eater's Well. She was mildly surprised not to encounter an irate half- demon upon her arrival, since she was once again running quite late. But, as she felt the warm breeze gently lift her hair around her, she found she was completely alone. Very odd.  
  
Finally swinging her legs over onto the lip of the well, after dumping the large, oversized yellow pack she carried onto the ground next to it, she lifted her head to the sky to enjoy the peaceful moment. Moments like this were few and far between, and would no doubt come to an abrupt halt when her presence was discovered by said irate hanyou or by an highly strung little ball of fur who always eagerly awaited her return.  
  
As her eyes lifted to the intense blue of the April sky, they also caught site of several whispy, ghostlike creatures, wafting along on the breeze. 'So, not so surprising that he's not here. He's with Kikyo.' She thought to herself glumly. 'And I was in such a good mood, too.'  
  
Not wanting to witness Inuyasha in a passionate embrace with his dead lover, she resolutely kept to the path to the village, eyes fixed forward, refusing to look off into the forest or turn at any sound.  
  
But the day was clear and calm, and in the forest, voices carry. Couple that the fact that Kagome was terrified that Kikyo would take advantage of her absence to drag Inuyasha off to hell with her, and she felt her resolve weakening. Still, she might have made it if that rather than being hidden among the trees as they usually were when they met, the pair in question hadn't been right in her path reroute to the village, not 200 feet from the well. What could she do? Kagome quickly turned to go in the other direction. She wasn't thinking about where she was going; maybe home, maybe just anywhere but where she currently was. But she couldn't help but hear Kikyo's monotone floating across the clearing.  
  
"Has this girl become more to you than I?"  
  
Kagome rolled her eyes, 'Good gods, does she ever say anything new?' But in spite of her resolve to leave, she still paused to hear his response.  
  
When she heard his deep voice, it was hesitant, flustered, "Kikyo. . ."  
  
"Answer me, Inuyasha. Do you love that human girl more than me?"  
  
Kagome couldn't help herself. She peeked over her shoulder to see the priestess, now right in front of Inuyasha, cupping his face with one hand.  
  
Inuyasha just stood there. What could he say? 'Yes! Yes! YES! I do love her. With all my being! She is my best friend, my angel, my reason for waking up every morning. Her face, her scent, her smile. Yes, she means more to me than you do ~ What we had once was nothing compared with what I feel for Kagome. She cares for me, trusts me, takes care of me. Likes me for who I am.' That always amazed him. He yelled at her, insulted her, made her angry all the time, yet she still liked him. He shook his head.  
  
He couldn't say any of that. His overwhelming guilt wouldn't let him, even if he could have admitted it out loud. Kikyo held that guilt over him with an iron fist, even now that she knew he had nothing to do with her death. And besides, she had already tried several times to kill Kagome. How would she react if he admitted his love for Kagome to her?  
  
He sighed heavily, and forced his voice to be soothing, "Kikyo, it's not like that. You know I need her to find the jewel shards. I protect her because I need her to help me finish the jewel. So I can kill Naraku and avenge what he did to us. She's my shard detector. Nothing more."  
  
Kikyo let her lips curve a little. "Don't forget that, Inuyasha. You belong to me. I will be patient a bit longer, but your quest is nearing it's end. You will come with me soon."  
  
That was enough for Kagome. She'd heard and seen enough. She didn't feel bad about being there; after all, why should she? She was doing what she was supposed to do, if a little late. No, she'd be damned if she was going to feel guilty about having witnessed their little encounter.  
  
But she just didn't want to see him right now. She just couldn't handle it. He might yell at her for invading his privacy. Or worse, she wouldn't be able to stop the tears from falling and he would look at her with those golden eyes of his, filled with concern, and she would fall apart. He might even apologize, but it didn't mean anything anymore. It would make things even worse. After what she had just witnessed, she knew the truth. She guessed she had always known, no matter what she wanted to believe. He hadn't said anything she didn't know already, but his words still stabbed. He may as well have used his claws to tear her heart out and cut it into so many ribbons. In fact, it would have hurt less. She knew she was just his shard finder ~ a tool he needed to get the job done. Still, in the three years they had spent together, she thought they had grown closer. She thought of him as her best friend. A best friend who was a loudmouthed, arrogant jerk and who, perversely, her heart had chosen to fall in love with, but a best friend none-the-less. Apparently, she wasn't even that to him.  
  
On the other hand, she wasn't just going to go running back to her era again, sobbing into her poor, abused pillow and feeling sorry for herself. 'Damn him for taking me for granted! And shame on me for thinking I was anything more than a tool to him. It was my own stupidity! If he prefers a cold, dead, hate filled corpse, than he's welcome to it!' She needed to think. She was sick of this whole scenario, and she wasn't going to play anymore. She angrily dashed the tears forming in her eyes away, shouldered her pack, turned around and headed resolutely back toward the village.  
  
Brushing past the parting couple, she gave them no notice ~ just kept walking. She did, of course, notice them. But she was concentrating on biting her tongue, which wanted very badly to say, "Good afternoon, Kikyo. Lovely weather. You're looking almost lifelike today."  
  
"Kagome. . . I . . .I,"  
  
"Oh, don't mind me! Go on with whatever you were doing." Kagome hurried past the surprised couple. Or at least Inuyasha was surprised. As usual, he had completely failed to notice her presence since Kikyo was there. Kikyo, on the other hand; Kagome was fairly certain the priestess had known she was there from the beginning.  
  
Kagome kept walking, thoughts warring within her, eyes fixed on the road ahead. Moments later, as expected, she felt his presence next to her. Still, she kept walking, kept her gaze averted.  
  
"Kagome. . .I. . .,"  
  
"You already said that. Back there. Among other things."  
  
"I can explain. . ."  
  
"Can you?" She stopped and turned to face him momentarily. She cocked her head and looked inquiringly at him, but then turned back to the road and kept walking. "Don't bother. It's not necessary."  
  
"Kagome."  
  
She could feel it. The tears were coming. She promised herself, dammit! She was NOT going to cry. She'd cried enough over him, and she wasn't going to do it anymore. She might not be able to do anything about loving him, but she was not going to be some sad, pathetic, loved starved nit-wit. She would have dignity.  
  
"Inuyasha, just leave it. And just leave me alone. I have some thinking to do."  
  
Inuyasha hated the cold, hollow sound in her voice. She sounded like Kikyo. Even her scent was dark and sad. And for some reason, her saying that she had thinking to do brought a chill up his spine. "What do you have to think about?"  
  
"My job description." 


	2. Conditions of Employment

Disclaimer: Feh! Says it all, doesn't it?  
  
Sorry so long, friends. Moving right along. Just a few notes. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews ~ it's people like you that keep me writing. I don't like to single people out, because I love all my reviewers, but a few need answering, and my e-mail is backing up. So:  
  
Indygodusk, I would have written to thank you for your suggestion, but you didn't leave an e-mail addy. You're absolutely right, and I will correct that problem. Thanks!  
  
PixieStixPrincess, Love your name. Sorry, I only write IY/Kag.  
  
The Purple Ghost: No, you didn't sound like a bitch. Besides, I'm a card- carrying member of the PMS club, so I couldn't complain anyway!  
  
And of course, my dear Lara Winner ~ the most awesome writer I have had the pleasure to read ~ your reviews always make my day. I remain, as always, humbled and thankful for them.  
  
Ok, on with the story:  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
Just a Shard Detector Chapter2  
  
Conditions of Employment  
  
"Just a shard detector......... Nothing more.........Not even......... a.........friend." Kagome's wistful words drifted to Inuyasha's sensitive ears where he crouched on the cliff high above the boulder the disheartened girl had chosen to do her "thinking." Her knees were drawn up to her chest, arms wrapped around them, gaze fixed on the water gently flowing beneath her. She repeated the words periodically, in varying tones. Sometimes affronted, occasionally angry, but most times she sounded disappointed and very, very sad. And every time she uttered them, no matter how they were said, the hanyou felt his heart wrench, his stomach twist.  
  
His current position was what it was because every time he attempted to get closer, she would sit him till he retreated.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Kagome, I........."  
  
"Sit. Go away, Inuyasha." (Crash) Her voice was flat, dismal.  
  
"Hey! Let me........."  
  
"Sit." (Crash)  
  
"Shit, Kagome, I........."  
  
"Sit."(Crash)  
  
"Would you cut that out, wench!?!"  
  
"Yes, I will. As soon as you go away."  
  
"Kagome, please! I need........."  
  
"Sit." (Crash) A single tear attempted to leave the corner of her eye, but she angrily dashed it away before it began its descent. "Don't worry, Inuyasha. I have a job to do, and I will continue to do it. I have an obligation to fulfill, a commitment to this team, minimal though my part may be. I will not run home and try to stay there, nor will I pout or behave like a child. But in return, you will give me my privacy when I request it, and I'm asking you one more time to leave me alone."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
She had spoken with such finality, such iciness. Completely unlike the Kagome he had come to know and care so deeply for. The girl he knew radiated warmth, kindness, joy, fire. Just being around her made him feel calm, content. But there she sat; dismal, cold, miserable. And it was because of him. Again.  
  
"Just a shard detector. . . Nothing more. . . Not even a friend. . ." That statement was wrong on so many levels, he didn't even know where to start. He sighed. 'Kami, I am such a jerk!'  
  
He'd really done it this time. He could feel it in his heart; in the pit of his stomach. He knew this wasn't just one of their arguments that they periodically got into, where he said some boneheaded thing, she got angry, stomped back home, they both cooled off and finally made up. No, although he couldn't put a finger on why, this time felt much different. Much colder. Much more. . . final. Even when she had caught him with Kikyo, telling the undead miko that he would protect her, she hadn't felt cold. Hurt and dejected, but not cold.  
  
And here he was; stuck up on a cliff, unable to get anywhere near her or do anything to fix it.  
  
And even if she would allow him to be near her, to talk things out, what would he say? That everything she heard him tell Kikyo was a lie? It was, but why would she believe him? And if he did tell her that, he would probably have to tell her how he really did feel. He sighed heavily.  
  
What would come of that? Surely she would reject him. Wouldn't she? He knew she cared deeply for him. Even a guy as thickheaded as he could tell that much. Sure, she took care of everyone ~ friend and stranger alike. But with him, he knew there was always something special. She was always there by his side, even when she should have been hiding instead. Her loyalty for him was fierce, her faith in him unshakable. She stood up to countless demons, including his brother and Naraku, fearlessly certain that they would defeat their foes or go down together. He mentally smirked at the thought. Kagome didn't take crap from anyone. Kind of like a Chihuahua taking on a Great Dane, but it was noble nonetheless.  
  
Even when he had lost himself and turned into a blood thirsty demon, she had refused to leave him. Even when he had slaughtered all those thieves, she refused to stop believing in him. And during that transformation, when Sesshomaru came after him with his newly forged sword, Tokijin, Kagome had thrown her body over Inuyasha's unconscious one to protect him from further attack. There she stayed, when their friends had frantically yelled at her to get out of the way, refusing to consider her own peril.  
  
So much more than Kikyo had ever given him.  
  
And for that loyalty, he had repaid her with . . . with. . . what? Betrayal. There. That was it. Denial. He had said she was a tool for his use and nothing more. Even if she hadn't heard it, it was unforgivable. He hung his head and shook it sadly. 'I really am no more than a cowardly beast!' He thought in self-loathing. 'Why am I so stupid? Why do I completely lose site of everything when Kikyo is around?'  
  
It wasn't undying love ~ he had come to that conclusion long ago. Once, long ago, he couldn't get the miko out of his mind. But anymore, it was Kagome who occupied his thoughts most of the time; almost to the point of being obsessive. He hated it when she left him to go to her world, frantic that that blasted well would some day stop working and he would be cut off from her forever ~ or for a very, very long time anyway.  
  
No, anymore he really only thought about Kikyo when her soul collectors appeared, and that compounded the guilt he already felt. Guilt for her death (though he really had nothing to do with it), guilt for still being alive, guilt for being happy when he was with Kagome, guilt for wanting a future with her. So he said things that weren't true to try and placate the undead miko, to assuage his remorse. But it only succeeded in making him feel worse.  
  
And this time it go him much more than trouble. He feared he had lost the most important thing he had ever had, or would have.  
  
************************************************  
  
Kagome, after brooding on the little scene earlier that day, decided that it was time to stop being maudlin and move on to the matter at hand. As it happened, she had just completed a career course at school, in which the students had been required to identify several career interests and explore the requirements of those chosen fields. She pulled a notebook out of her pack and began to write:  
  
Job Title: Sacred Jewel Shard Detector  
  
Hours: 24/7, with minimal time off as needed/demanded to fulfill requirements of other job (full-time student and poster child for bizarre diseases)  
  
Experience: None, really. Knowledge of Feudal Japanese history a bonus. Extra points for being able to competently employ a bow and arrows.  
  
Education: Again, knowledge of Feudal Japanese history helpful, but not necessary. Most of the books are wrong, anyway.  
  
Qualifications: LOTS of patience; a warm body (or maybe one made out of clay?). Be born with a sacred jewel embedded in your body, and let it lie dormant till your 15th birthday. The ability to sense the presence of sacred jewel shards is the only real qualification. Without it, you can go home and live a normal life of going to school, hanging out with your friends, and preparing for your future life instead of worrying about whether there will be a future if you really screw up. Or rather, if you don't fix what you really screwed up. Oh, you also have to be able to travel from present day Tokyo to Feudal Japan via a portal in an ancient well. Ability to avoid the wandering hands of a lecherous monk a plus.  
  
Responsibilities(she chewed on her pen for a moment, considering before she wrote): Sensing the presence of jewel shards, and informing the rest of the group of their location. Technically, that's it. However, supposedly being a miko and the reincarnation of the original protector of the Jewel, other duties include keeping and defending said jewel shards. Helping to defeat demons by using bows and arrows somehow suffused with miko powers I never knew I had. Keeping my useless human butt out of the way so Inuyasha doesn't "always end up having to save me."  
  
Compensation (Sardonic smirk): 10557610.8¥ /year (about $100K US). NOT!!!! You get to walk for miles and miles, for days on end. You get to sleep on hard ground when you finally convince the hardheaded half-demon to let you rest for the night. You get to live with the knowledge that you might be attacked by demons or an undead miko at any time of the day or night, and that they all want the pieces of the jewel that it is your job to collect and protect. Also, you get lots of verbal abuse centering on your shortcomings; mainly being a stupid, useless human and a "wench."  
  
Ok, you also get to meet lots of interesting people, and see Japan when it was unspoiled and beautiful, and experience history firsthand. You get to drink and swim in clean water and breathe fresh air. And you get to make some very good friends, even if one of them is a pervert. And you get into really good shape. All my friends at home want to train with my "physical therapist." Ha! If they only knew!  
  
Apply: Be dumb enough to go after your cat into a spooky old well house, and then get sucked into the time portal in the well. Then free a "dogboy" pinned to a tree by a sacred arrow in order to keep from getting killed by a really freaky centipede demon. Then do the dumbest thing of all and let another demon get ahold of the jewel that the freaky centipede ripped from your body, and then shatter the jewel into hundreds of tiny fragments while trying to retrieve it from said demon. After that, the job is yours whether you want it or not till you work yourself out of it.  
  
'Hmm....is that it?' Kagome idly tapped the notebook with her pen, reading over what she had read. Some of it made her smile, and just the act of writing had calmed her considerably. Her heart still ached, but at least she was able to feel other things as well. For instance, her stomach was beginning to let her know that the bowl of rice and few pickles she had bolted down for breakfast were wearing very thin, and that it might be time to think about getting something to eat. She considered eating one of the chocolate bars she had brought back for Inuyasha, but decided to wait and see what Kaede was cooking instead. Kaede was such a good cook.  
  
Finally, she replaced her notebook and pen into the yellow bag and stood up to stretch.  
  
**************************************************************  
  
Trying desperately to think of a way to approach her without getting sat into hell, Inuyasha never let his gaze stray from the girl below. 'So beautiful,' he thought as the wind lifted her soft, raven hair to billow gently around her. He remembered the first time he had watched her from this very spot. At that time, he had only known her a couple of days. She had been bathing, completely naked. But that was not why he had been watching her. At that time, he had seen her as a tool. He didn't want to like her ~ just to use her to find the jewel shards so he could use the completed jewel to become full demon. But even then he had the feeling it was a lost cause. Even then he felt her softening him; working her way into his heart with her kindness and her determination and her fiery spirit.  
  
How long had it taken her to make him so dependant on her smile that he couldn't stand it when she wasn't where he could see or smell her? A week? Two? For maybe the twentieth time that day, he exhaled heavily. Would he ever be able to get close enough to her to talk to her again?  
  
Seeing her take out her notepad, he frowned. 'What the hell is she doing now? Homework?' No, that couldn't be right. She didn't take out any of those "skool-books." But why else would she be writing in that tablet? His curiosity was nearly killing him, especially as he saw her smile, or rather, smirk at something she had written. Before, he would have just gone down to ask her. But now......... Shaking his head, he knew he wasn't going to find out. Not any time soon, anyway. Not if he couldn't get anywhere near her.  
  
It was driving him crazy. He couldn't stand it. It had only been a few hours since the incident that got him exiled from her presence, and already he felt so lonely that he wanted to .......... What? Cry? Demons didn't cry. Yell? He yelled a lot, but he didn't think it would help in this situation. He just had to go talk to her. He had to. Even if she did sit him into hell, he had to try. He had to apologize, to tell her he didn't mean it. To say anything if it would make everything between them right again. Maybe he could even find the courage to tell her how he really felt. Or at least get a hug. Or a smile. At least a smile. That would be enough. For now.  
  
Someday, soon he hoped, he would tell her how he felt about her. And if by some miracle of the gods, she returned his feelings and agreed to stay with him forever, he would take her to the place he had been preparing for her. A cozy cave he had found during his nocturnal wanderings, with a hotspring and a breathtaking view of the valley below. Since he had found it, he had been gathering things to make it a fit place to take her and mate her: soft furs to cover the straw bedding, silks from Miroku's spoils that he never seemed to miss (or had never said anything about anyway). He had taken some things from Kagome's time too: candles and those "match" things that made it so easy to light a fire, a couple cushions, etc. Letting his thoughts wander further, he imagined laying his love down on the sumptuous furs and kissing her with all the passion, all the hunger he felt for her. Her head tipped back, eyes closed, face flushed with pleasure as he undressed her while tasting every inch of her silky, creamy skin...  
  
His fantasies were brought to an abrupt halt when she suddenly cried out, "Jewel shards! Coming this way. Really fast!"  
  
Inuyasha blinked once, and when he opened his eyes Koga was standing next to Kagome, one arm wrapped around her waist. "Hello, Kagome! I was nearby and decided to decided to check that Dog Breath is treating my woman right!"  
  
Inuyasha growled, 'Shit! What the f#(k is he doing here? Just what I need right now!'  
  
Kagome sweatdropped, and delicately extracated herself from the wolf demon's embrace. "I'm fine Koga ~ It's nice to see you again."  
  
Before Koga could respond, Inuyasha had leapt down from the cliff and placed himself between the wolf demon and Kagome. "Who invited you, you wimpy wolf? And I told you before ~ keep your hands off Kagome! She ain't your woman!"  
  
Kagome, choosing not to take place in the altercation, picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. "I'm going to see if dinner is ready. Would you like to join us, Koga?"  
  
Inuyasha just stood and gaped, while Koga sent him a smug look. "Why, yes, thank you Kagome. I'd be delighted."  
  
Kagome, who had her back turned and was already headed for the village, rolled her eyes. 'He sounds just like Hojo!' She started slightly when Koga came up to walk beside her, taking her hand and slipping it through his bent arm, but she didn't make him let go.  
  
Inuyasha, meanwhile had recovered himself and was on their heels, yelling, "You keep your filthy hands off her, you mutt-faced jackass!"  
  
Kagome looked back at the hanyou, who was about to slug the wolf prince in the back of the head. "Sit." She sighed. 'This is not in my contract.' 


End file.
